I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize