Dual....:-)
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
