He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
