Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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