I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
