everyone is single if you try hard enough
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
well you can't waste a boner
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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