Where are you?
In a non slutty way
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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