I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
