I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
