Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize