Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
