break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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