i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize