i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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