You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
