They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
