But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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