I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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