I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
