i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
