and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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