its not stalking. its research.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I touched a dick in church today
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize