His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
