WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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