I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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