Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
