I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
