you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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