I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize