Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
did you just send me my own nude
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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