I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
