What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
