He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
time to smoke my breakfast
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Randomize
