you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
