So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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