I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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