I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
