google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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