Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
