I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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