Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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