Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
