the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
