Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
