she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
