The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
