Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
