i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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