My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
