I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
