My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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