girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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