2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
