At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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