Soap is not a condiment
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
