Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
