would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
