I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sober January is a disaster.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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