Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize