who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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