It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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