Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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