What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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