is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
