Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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