I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
