i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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