Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
