Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
honey bunches of taint.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize