What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
