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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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