i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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