the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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